a bad rep
For centuries, the church has sometimes had the unfortunate reputation of bitter wrangling and vicious disagreement. There have been opposing denominations and those within the same denomination claiming to know the true interpretation of Scripture and its application to daily life. These days, many Christian leaders are calling for less division and greater humility as we practice our faith together.
April 21, 2014
How do you reach out to family members who are antagonistic towards you and your beliefs?
war
Journalist Jeffrey Gettleman asserts, “There is a very simple reason why some of Africa’s bloodiest, most brutal wars never seem to end: They are not really wars. . . . The combatants don’t have much of an ideology; they don’t have clear goals. . . . I’ve witnessed up close—often way too close—how combat has morphed from soldier versus soldier (now a rarity in Africa) to soldier versus civilian.”
generous unity
April 2013 marked a milestone birthday for me. To celebrate, we took a long trip to my college “stomping grounds.” Numerous tollbooths, scenic beach views, and city excursions marked our unforgettable vacation. The highlight for my husband and me, though, was a little unexpected: it was that our kids had actually enjoyed being together for an extended period of time.
good conflict
Many Christians are masters at conflict-avoidance. Perhaps we confuse “blessed are the peacemakers” (Matthew 5:9) with “blessed are those who avoid unpleasant situations.” But conflict and confrontation weave their way throughout the fabric of the Bible.
grow up
A couple in their late 50s recently decided to divorce, but they both refused to move out of their home. To resolve the impasse, a judge ordered that they halve the urban complex. This included the building of a wall to divide the living room on the first floor and sealing of the door that splits the living space on the second. The husband had construction workers build a spiral staircase, allowing him to get more easily from his living room to his dining room. He’s also made his ex-wife’s life a nightmare by yelling and banging on the walls. They each vow to stay in the house until the other moves out.
relative peace
A 60-year-old man, atop a John Deere tractor, charged at his 69-year-old brother-in-law who was harvesting hay astride his own tractor. The collision resulted in a damaged tire and the tractor-crasher’s arrest. One law enforcement official commented, “We’ve responded on prior occasions to calls because of differences between the families.” While it’s a bit unclear what the man hoped to accomplish by confronting and crunching his brother-in-law, the story shows that family feuds can escalate to ridiculous levels if they’re not resolved.
rabble babble
Many years ago, I was counseling at a Christian camp when the program staff began to struggle. Why? Some of the counselors didn’t appreciate the way the director was leading, so they started to complain. As the complaints spread, more people joined in. By the end of the week, the staff had become polarized and the whole camp had been affected by the tempestuous situation.
squash the beef
During a promotional event, two 73-year-old former Canadian Football League players got into a fistfight on stage. They had a “beef” (a grudge or feud between friends, family members, or enemies) dating back to a controversial championship football game in November 1963. After one of the senior citizens knocked the other off the stage, the crowd yelled at him to “let it go!” In essence, they were telling him to “squash the beef.”
you choose Q: how do i get a close family member to forgive me?
Q: I am baffled by a close family member who is unwilling to forgive me for past hurts. How can I work through this with him? —Carol
A: Carol, I can see why you would be baffled as to what is going on. My guess is that the role you played in negative experiences in the past seems to have triggered…
comes back around
As a youth pastor’s wife, I have plenty of opportunities to practice conflict resolution skills with those in our ministry. Especially in working with the girls. Gossip, however, is not limited to the female gender or to young adults (as my husband and I discovered at a dinner party a few weeks back). Recently, though, I had an opportunity to…
protect this house
When Under Armour® wanted athletes to notice its new brand of sweat-wicking clothing, the upstart company marketed its apparel with the tag line, “Protect This House.” The slogan was a hit, for it implied that Under Armour transformed athletes into gladiators who fiercely defended their home turf.
I thought of this motto as I read in the newspaper about a…
peace with God
Ephesians 2:13-16: But now you have been united with Christ Jesus. Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to Him through the blood of Christ. For Christ Himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in His own body on the cross, He broke down the wall…
you choose Q: "how can I show good judgment without being judgmental?"
Q: I would be grateful if you could help me to understand the difference between judgment and disagreement. How do I live as a Christian indicating how and why I do things differently (when asked or questioned about it) without coming across to another person as being judgmental? —Tana
A: There is a difference and much of it boils down to…
you choose Q: "how do I deal with a manipulative person?"
Q: How can I practically deal with a person who continually manipulates the situation? I know God is directing my path but it is very frustrating to be receiving continuous verbal assaults from him whenever I try to work with him about the welfare of my son. I am just about out of options now. Help me! —Josephine
A: It’s hard…
